Palaven and Atlanta
by Chloe Magea
Summary: This is just an offset of my main ME fic 'Basic Forms.' This is just a random collection of thoughts and feelings belonging to Garrus about Quinn Shepard. M for language.
1. Names

** Palaven and Atlanta**

_A/N: This is just something that I stated working on at work when it was slow. Lol. Written as a series of random memories, thoughts and feelings belonging to Garrus Vakarian about Quinn Shepard. This is a offset of my main Mass Effect fan-fiction 'Basic Forms' and a lot of the story information is linked to that fic. So that one should be read first. M for language and other adult themes. I do not own anything. Enjoy. 3_

**Shepard? Humans and their odd names**

Garrus was pissed; he held his mandibles tight to his face. He was not about to lose face, not now but it was getting excruciatingly difficult to hold it in. "Building your case?" his superior barked. "You have fumbled this from the start." the man continued to berate him.

"I know Saren is up to something. I just need a little more time." Garrus argued. It was not like a Turian to argue with his superiors but he was not going to let this go. Saren was a plight on the Turian race and he needed to be stopped.

"More time! No, your investigation is over Vakarian. You'll do well to put Saren out of your mind." His boss said walking away from the pride broken Turian. Just as he was about to wallowing in his defeat, he saw three humans looking in his direction. All of them clearly Alliance. There was a woman with her hair pulled back tightly. She gave him a look; he could not tell what it meant...humans and their strange facial expressions. A male with dark hair, a prominent chin and thick eyebrows. And the third, whom stood in the middle, it was clear she was in charge. While the other two soldiers had been pale in skin color, this one was dark. Garrus could only compare it to some of the glistening stones found in the deserts on Palaven. Garrus found himself thinking back to his human biology course, there was a reason human skin came in such different colors...something about ancestor geographic locations or something like that. He couldn't for the life of him remember.

The female's black hair was in a messy pony tail and a few lose strands dangled in her eyes. He looked at her face; she had a scar that cut its self across the bridge of her short nose and another down the edge of her left eyebrow. For some reason he felt himself grow uncomfortable at this woman's sharp gaze.

"_What? Has she never seen a Turian before?" _He thought to himself at the site of the woman's dark eyes cutting through him. Garrus flared his mandibles right before he went to speak but the human female cut him off.

"So you have something against Saran as well?" She spoke in a smokey voice that was laced with danger. She took a few steps towards him...she had something about her...charm? No. Swagger? Yes that was it, swagger. She did not move like a solider, he thought of humans in the military as being bulky. Most of the ones he saw wore heavy armor in an attempt to compensate for the small frames they possessed. But this one had such posture and a hip to waist ratio that was nothing like he had even seen in a human. Garrus cleared this throat.

"Yes, I have been investigating him for some time now." He said noticing how this woman's eyes searched him over.

"Hmm." She mumbled raising her perfectly arched eyebrows.

"Commander, we need to get going. Our meeting with the council should be underway." The man to her left said.

_ "Commander? Wow that is a surprise."_

"Right, let's get moving." She spoke with pause. "And I did not catch your name." She said to him.

"I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Detective Vakarian." He said to this strange woman, her eye brow rose once more. "Uh, Detective _Garrus _Vakarian." A small smile came cross her bee stung lips and she extended her hand to him.

"I'm Commander Quinn Shepard." She said taking his hand and shaking it. Human and Asari hands were among the strangest things in the universe to him. Five thin digits, boney and nimble. It felt strange in his large three fingered talon hand, frail yet she had a human's equivalent to a Krogan's grip.

"Nice to meet you, detective." She said releasing him from the hand shake and continued through the Citadel Tower.

"_Wait. Did she just glance at me over her shoulder? No...she must have been looking at someone else...Quinn Shepard? Why do humans have such strange names?"_


	2. Ashes

**Like dust and ash, she dies.**

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Garrus had no idea of what that meant. Humans did not come from ash nor dust but the Holy Man's words suggested that they go back to from once they came when their lives end. Shepard might have been dust by now- if her body had burned in the atmosphere of an unknown planet. Either that or her body was still floating out there in the void, cold and alone...

So here they were on Earth, all of them, dressed in black at their beloved Commander's funeral, but there was no body to be found so they only had an empty casket lay in front of them. Garrus felt himself sob, his mandibles twitching but Turians did not create tears. Tali sat next to him squeezing his talon tightly, weeping behind her mask as Garrus looking around at all of the grief stricken people around him. Joker, who looked horrible, dark circles around his eyes. Garrus knew that he was blaming himself for Quinn's death. And then there was Alenko, who was standing at the podium speaking about Shepard but Garrus could not hearing a word he said, his mind too far gone thinking about her. What he heard next snapped him from his thoughts of his late commander.

"I believe that Commander Shepard would have been able to make it off of the Normandy if there were more reliable crew on the ship. Ones that could have helped more." Kaidan's voice came crashing in to Garrus's thoughts. He looked up at the Alenko who was staring right back at him with those dark brown eyes. Garrus felt Tali tighten her grip on his talon, it was clear the words were meant for him alone.

"What are you trying to say Kaidan?" Garrus's voice low and serious. A growl shook his whole being and he just wanted to tear his human flesh limb from limb.

"Oh, Keelah..." He heard Tali mumble next to him and shaking her head. There was a pregnant pause and tension hung over the funeral like a black cloud. Kaidan narrowed his eyes at Garrus and walked away from the podium and towards him.

"I'm saying that you had the ability to get her off the ship." Alenko said. Garrus stood up, both men now face to face with each other. Tali reached out for Garrus but he pushed her hand away. If it got physical he did not want her to be involved.

"Oh! So now you are going to forget about how you also had a chance to save her? Huh? Is that it, you feel so bad about leaving her you want to blame me!" Garrus yelled, holding his mandibles tightly to his face. He was about to feel himself lose it... Perhaps in doing so would somewhat dull the pain he felt in his heart.

"She would have listened to you, Garrus! You were close to her..." Kaidan argued in a hurt voice.

It was true, yes. Garrus and Shepard did make unlikely friends, for some reason they hit it off instantly. Their long talks by the Mako while he was fixing it, trying to patch it up because Shepard was such a shitty driver. The thought making him smile inside for a brief moment.

Everyone in attendance stopped sobbing and looked at the two men. It was clear that the tension between Kaidan and Garrus had been building for some time now. Garrus could not stand Kaidan and his constant bitching about his migraines. The way he gave the Commander that _look_ in the heat of battle. It made Garrus sick; he just had the want to vomit whenever he was around Alenko. How he whined and cried over her saying over and over how he loved her. Kaidan was such a bitch. Fuck, if Garrus had been human he would have swept Shepard off of her feet and done things to every inch of her.

"_What? Where did that come from?" _Garrus found himself confused by his own thoughts.

"She would have listened to you!" Kaidan's voice came again, snapping Garrus from his mind.

"She gave me an order! Just like she gave you one!" Garrus yelled knowing that Kaidan's logic was clouded by grief but he did not care, fuck he was hurting too.

"But you were always different to her...She took you under wing, you were her protégé. You could have done something!" Kaidan reasoned his voice aching with sadness.

"So what is this some type of jealousy thing? You're fucking pathetic." Garrus growled, mandibles flaring. He felt Tali attempting to grab him and calm him down but he ignored her once again. He couldn't get over his rage.

"I dare you to say that to me again." Kaidan warned his blue biotics creeping thought his tightly clenched fist.

"You are pathetic and she deserved better then you." Garrus said from behind his gritted sharp teeth.

"All right you want to settle this now!" Kaidan said his biotics growing stronger.

"Bring it on L2." Garrus taunted just as it was about to turn physical there was a loud voice that broke their red haze of anger.

"Enough, God damn it!" Captain Anderson yelled standing up out of his seat. Both men stopped and looked over to him. "Look at you." Anderson said steeping towards them. "Acting like school age children fighting over a broken toy. You should be ashamed of yourselves!" His words sliced through Garrus. Garrus felt shame travel up and down his body as he looked around at everyone. Shaking his head he turned to leave. He had enough of this, he just wanted to be alone.

"Garrus." Tali said standing up and chasing after him. He turned and snarled at the young Quarian, warning her to leave him alone. Tali stopped and let him go...


	3. Back

**Going back was the wrong thing...**

A/N: This chapter is pretty short. Once again you might want to read my main ME fic "Basic Forms" first. Enjoy 3

"_Going back to C-sec and trying to have a normal life is the right thing to do, right?"_

It was his first day back at C-sec and the last time he was there she was with him and Wrex as they fought Sovereign. It had only been five months since the fight at the Citadel happened, and the cleaning was still in full effect. Areas were still the same where he fought next to her during the rough battle. He remembered vividly one area where they had hid from an on slot of Geth. He had been shot in the leg and Shepard ripped open a pack of medi-gel and smoothed it over his wound, her sweat soaked hair sticking to her forehead and in all of the chaos she still looked up at him and smiled ever so slightly.

Garrus shook his head trying to kick the memory out of his mind; he looked around at his new surroundings, his new office. He let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes and looked back down at the case file he just received. Not even a few days to get accustomed to things again and he was straight back to work. Just like the old days...before Shepard came in to his life flipping it upside down and giving him true purpose.

He looked out through the transparent wall that separated him from the rest of the bustling Citadel. His eyes fell on an advertisement that was playing, it was for the Alliance Military, and he felt his gut drop. He could not hear what was being said but the visuals were clear. It was Shepard in her white formal military uniform, she looked dead in his direction smiled and saluted. Those brown eyes piercing through him just like the first time he met her. He felt a chill run up his spine as the ad displayed the words

**Alliance, enlist today- become a hero.**

Garrus put in a request for an office change, it was ignored. And every day that ad would run at the same time and he could never bring himself to look away from her.


	4. Ice

**What would she say if she saw me like this?**

He had failed everything. He had left C-sec and ran to Omega in hopes he could be like her. A hero, but her human shoes were too big to fill and he had fucked it all up. Everything. His team was dead, betrayed by one of his own and now the mercs were coming for his head. Garrus found himself sitting against a wall at his hideout. He let out a broken sigh as he leaned his head back, his rifle clenched tightly in his gloved hand.

_Just a little sleep, _He thought as his eyes slowly closed and he was soon fast asleep...

_Shepard stood where her locker had been on the crew deck. She shut it letting her hand linger on the door. She looked over at him and smiled sadly._

"_Garrus, what are you doing with yourself?" She asked walking over to him. Garrus looked at her for a moment. In her old blue ship uniform, her black hair dangling lazily down to her shoulders. He knew it was, sadly, just a dream._

"_I'm-I'm just trying to be like you." He choked out. Shepard let out a small laugh from her full lips and shook her head._

"_You don't want to be like me, Garrus. I'm dead." Flames roared around them, she was now in the armor she died in, The Normandy crumbling around them, steel beams warping and snapping from the heat of the fire. Quinn's brown eyes reflecting the flames as they danced around her._

"_I just wanted to do something worthy, something that would have made you proud." He said his mandibles flaring as he started to sob. Shepard turned away from him and looked through the destroyed haul of the ship._

"_Garrus, me and you have been through so much. I'm already proud of you." She spoke. Garrus reached his hands out and embraced her from behind, resting his face in to the curve of her neck. She smelt like smoke and ash._

"_Quinn, I'm so sorry..." He spoke softly, his voice strained and just above a whisper. The flames faded away and so did the ship. Leaving nothing but a black, vast, empty, and lonely void._

"_Garrus - living for the dead – is not living..." She panted as if she was struggling to breathe. "You- have to let me go..." She sighed breathlessly. Her skin growing cold._

"_Quinn I can't..." He said in a broken sob._

"_It's over for me- I'm done- I'm never coming back. You have to face-that."_

"_I can't...I don't want to let you go." He uttered to her. Shepard's body limped and froze completely, tuning to tiny bits of ice in his arms._


	5. Lazarus

**Out of her frozen tomb she comes like Lazarus when God called him forth.**

_ A/N: The last chapters dream sequence was inspired by the dream in 'Shutter Island' straight up. This chapter is written all from Garrus's POV and it his thoughts. This last chapter takes place the day after the last one. And is short and leads right in to my main fic3 Enjoy_

All right! This is it bring it on! If I die then so be it, one down now two, man they are dropping like flies. Six already? All head shots, good job old Garrus.

What was that? Who just shot some of the mercs? Hmm...human female and one male...is that a Cerberus logo? Fuck, this day has gone downhill, what the hell could Cerberus want with me? Wait, there is another one with them; a female.

What? No. It can't be...Shep - Shepard? No! This has to be a trick. Someone is playing a sick joke on me! Some asshole is wearing her face, I'll kill them!

Wait...what if it is really her? No it can't be! I watched her die! She has been gone two years. Fuck, my hands are shaking. Get it together Garrus. Shit, I just shot her! Thank the spirits it was just a concussive round.

She's looking up at me...those eyes...it has to be her. Man, she looks pissed.

They are getting closer to the stair case. How is this possible? Just when I accept that she is gone she comes charging in her with a rocket launcher on her back killing mercs likes it's nothing. Fuck, they are standing in the door way, I can feel her eyes at my back. What do I say?

"Archangel?" That voice, that voice that has haunted me for two long years.

"Shepard..."

-Fin-


End file.
